We have created our own routine, but the point is, create something basic and stick to it. If they need more time, no problem, she gives them a few more minutes. Then when they come out, she checks the bathroom. ![]() While they are in there, she sits outside the door with her thermos of coffee and morning devotion. Nancy Thomas says she gives her kids 7 morning tasks to do in the bathroom in 7 minutes. How do I do this? Mornings, Bedtimes, and Other Routines for Kids with Trauma Historyġ. But if I start catching most of them, with the help of the right therapist to work through the tough emotions, my child WILL start to heal. This does not mean I have to be Super Mom and catch every single situation. These little issues are a really big deal because it’s about power and control.Ī lot of built up anxiety might result in a full-blown rage, punching the wall, lying, stealing, or other highly controlling behaviors. It might seem like no big deal for me to just sigh to myself and clean it on up after my kid goes to bed. Will I notice? Will I clean it up? Then my son thinks maybe he can’t really trust me. The reason is because for my son, and kids like him, the way he manages his anxiety is by attempting to control the adults and situations in his life.Ī little anxiety might mean leaving a string of toothpaste strands on the bathroom sink and wet towels on the floor. It seems like a far jump to say that a kid dawdling with brushing his teeth is because of childhood trauma, doesn’t it? Our son’s core problem is trauma, anxiety, and PTSD. Our son may have some executive skill deficits, but it’s really not our core problem. Our younger son, who has more significant developmental delays, has benefited more from a visual schedule, although even he does quite well without one most of the time.įor us these items were a baby step in recognition, but didn’t go nearly far enough. This did provide a positive step in the right direction. He is responsible for keeping track himself, along with watching the time. This book teaches breaking down tasks into small, manageable parts and taught us to give our son a clipboard and check off the items. We studied books such as Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential. (These children are brilliant teachers for the parent.) Executive Functioning Skills, Developmental Delays, and Early Childhood TraumaĬlassic methods for getting a morning or bedtime routine will teach systems such as a visual schedule and a reward chart.įor our son, some of his extensive testing has revealed executive function deficits due to prematurity. They leave stuff all over the place, dawdle when I am in a hurry, rush through when they need to take their time, destroy items, dump out expensive products, leave messes, forget items everywhere, and have all kinds of other cleaver ways of gaining control that I never in a million years would have thought of myself. Typical family routines are a nightmare for parents of kids with trauma history. How to Find Peace…When You Don’t Get Your Happy Ending.What Happens to the Sibling of a Special Needs Child.Mornings, Bedtimes, and Other Routines for Kids with Trauma History.Every Test in Your Life Makes You Bitter or Better.When the Life Has Been Sucked Out of You.How to Shift Conversations with Challenging Kids.The Two Equally Important Jobs of Every Parent.When My Adopted Child Cries for His Birth Mom.How to Measure Progress in Tough Situations. ![]()
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